CategoryNo Good Bands

No Good Bands – Metallica

There are a lot of band names that are dumber than Metallica, but most of them aren’t worse. Hoobastank is worse, sure, but what makes Metallica such a bad band name is the smugness. It thinks it’s an amazing band name. When Metallica chose “Metallica”, they thought “This is the final word in metal. With this band name, we’ll be the heaviest.” And they wouldn’t have taken it if they didn’t think they were an amazing band. As far as I know, there isn’t an Indium or a Calypsomnibus or a Salsalmanac.

No Good Bands – Kraftwerk

A good rule of thumb is, if people tell you that a band created a “sonic blueprint”, it means the band is annoying to listen to. Also annoying to listen to? Some guy at your New Year’s party telling you he’d rather be listening to Kraftwerk just when you put on Don’t You Want Me by the Human League…