This may seem like the least necessary guide ever created, but if there’s anything my years of Professional Drinking have taught me, it’s that whether […More…]
“The Truth Is Out There” A seemingly benign sentiment that speaks to both the simplest of wonders and most esoteric dialogue a person can muster. In 1993, The X-Files had us believing that what was out there was aliens. Then The Matrix happened. Now, the Internet has asserted that it is instead “Inside There” and I’m inclined to believe. I mean, either the net’s just a really smooth talker or this is the real thing.
That the internet has caused privacy to disappear is not new, nor is the fact that nobody is forced to divulge that extinct thing called “personal information.” People write their status or tweet or four square for the same reason a dog licks his own ass, and often with about the same result. But I don’t think people would be so inclined to self-advertise if we weren’t so inundated, so primed, with advertising in general. I don’t mean to overstate things, but I think these two abominations perpetuate each other and work in tandem to debauch the minds of the young.
Two things are sparkling clear. One is the extent to which both self-advertising…
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you a step-by-step article on the craft of obtaining pay-without-work; a schooling in deception and creativity alike. It must […More…]
The beginning of each calendar year inspires (or propels? forces?) many of us to think farther into the future (at least a few months) than we are normally accustomed to (at least a few minutes). This delving into the parts of us that…
We are seeing an increasing lack of precision in our language that narrows not just the words we use in speech and writing, but the thoughts we have. Bad grammar and imprecise diction both betokens and breeds stupid thoughts. There isn’t one cause. The semi-related forces of text message and social media language, email shorthand, poop-culture, vapid but ostensibly serious TV pundits, advertising, and the moribund Western Canon all accelerate our language’s decline.
When we find the relics of predictions from scientists, writers, and theme park designers of yore, who tried to envision life in the future, there are plenty of laughable inaccuracies. Whether it’s a speculative article in a 1950’s newspaper, a campy ‘futuristic’ movie, or ‘The World of Tomorrow’ at Disneyland, the look ahead at our world is grandiose, ambitious, and often wrong. We haven’t colonized the moon, for instance, and the constant construction of highways suggests we’re no closer to the flying car.
The first time I wrote about not writing about Hipsters I made the the equivalent argument of “No. You’re a Hipster, shut up.” I apologize. There is no doubt that I was missing something. Perhaps sobriety. By the time that piece was published, the term Hipster had degraded into such a dirty word that all the image conjured up was irritation. What my naive 27 year-old self should have officially declared was “The Hipsters are dead (finally).”
“People’s conscious minds constantly let go of thoughts, memories, and reason, but the unconscious stores it all. From the miniscule to the imperative to the things you’d rather not say, what we aren’t thinking about on a regular basis is often more important than the lusty financial woes to which many give precedence while daydreaming.”
Margaret Wente has an acid flash back to her college years.
Last Sunday morning I slept until my eyes were ready to open, rearranged my apartment, ate cake for breakfast, and read online news in total […More…]
Dear Starbucks, I love your coffee. While puffing away on my morning cigarette, your Pike Place beans skip caffeinated pleasantries across my tongue like a […More…]