The Best Mayor Toronto Has Ever Had

Rob Ford

That’s it, I can’t take it anymore. Every day another bomb drops is the real-life soap opera that is Toronto City Hall. The mayor smokes crack, the mayor is going to murder someone, the mayor eats extramarital pussy; enough already. This liberal media driven conspiracy to oust the best mayor Toronto has ever had has to stop!

Since the early days of his mayoral campaign, the left-wing media has painted Rob Ford as a sexist, racist, and homophobe. None of this could be farther from the truth. Consider this:

1)    Rob Ford loves women. Not only does he employ women in his office, he even goes as far as offering to “eat their pussy,” seemingly on a frequent basis.  In another incident, he offered his former opponent in the mayoral race, Sarah Thompson, a consolation prize, grabbing her ass and saying, “he was in Florida and I should have been with him because his wife wasn’t there”, according to Thompson. It’s not Mayor Ford’s fault that she didn’t take him up on his generous offer to ‘take a ride on the Model T’, as he likes to describe it.

2)    Rob Ford loves people of all ethnicities.  He famously admired the work ethic of ‘Orientals’, and went so far as to publicly congratulate them in city council chambers, saying, “”Those Oriental people work like dogs … they sleep beside their machines,” he said. “The Oriental people, they’re slowly taking over … they’re hard, hard workers.”  If that’s not enough for you, take a look at this well-known picture:

Ford Crack

They look black to me!

3)    Homophobic?  Please!  He took a lot of flak for keeping with his family’s long standing tradition of going to the cottage on Pride weekend, but his love for the LGBT community was just too strong, so he blew off the cozy comforts of his home away from home to stand tall and proud next to his homosexual brothers and sisters… again, a picture is worth a thousand words.

Ford Homo

This was only the first gambit. When the media failed to derail the Subway Mayor with their petty attacks, they started fabricating elaborate tails of crack smoking, hacker attacks, secret late night rendezvous’, and sexual harassment to try and get him to step down.  This won’t work; in fact all they are accomplishing is to turn the once local hero into an international celebrity, even TMZ is following him around now – the mark of a true superstar.

About Danny DeVito

Danny DeVito is one of Canada's premier thinkers. He graces the pages of Provocative Penguin with his unique and rare form of genius. His keen eye for talented artists, insight into political affairs, and cunning linguistic skills pale only in comparison to his chiselled good looks. Some say he is a God. Here at Provocative Penguin, we just call him Danny. You can read Danny’s other posts on PP [here]