Central & Remote: July 25th-28th

Helloooooo Toronto!

I, Seamus, have hijacked C&R from Lee-Anne this week. She helped by providing a lot of the events and a few of the blurbs. We have very different tones, but I’ve tried to camouflage a few of mine with her optimistic flair. The first to identify which ones she wrote in the comments will receive 100 Provocative Penguin stickers with the 2013 NXNE logo in the corner.

That’s right, we’re generous.

-Seamus

Weekend Long…

Clay and Paper Theatre – PWYC

“It is the fervent desire of Clay & Paper Theatre to encourage people to abandon propriety, to escape the mundane, to celebrate the wisdom of the little man and woman, to transform dormant curiosity, to acknowledge all of life, both negative and positive, to astonish the innocent and perplex the sophisticated, to have a view of the whole world, to raise questions about the big questions and to throw hot tar on the little ones.

Clay & Paper Theatre is not funny and is never serious.”

Beaches Jazz Festival – This weekend marks the main event with the boardwalk lighting up with the sounds of horns, bass, keys and all the off-beat percussion you’d expect from jazz-aficionados. – Free

Beer Festival: If you don’t have your tickets yet, it looks like your last chance to go is Sunday! – $39.50 includes 5 beer samples

Burlesque Festival – Can can can you have a good time watching people dance dance? With names like “Twist & Shout: The Late Night Shakedown”, “The Glam-A-Ganza” and “The Dark Kiss Goodnight” chances are this is going to be one swank soiree of a weekend. – $35 per event/$15 for the Burlesque Brunch

Thursday

Art Spin – Meet. Bike. Art. – 6:30-7pm at MacGregor Park (on Lansdowne, just north of College) – leaves at 7pm sharp.

Movies in St. James Park: Best in Show – Watch Christopher Guest’s modern comedy classic in a place you’re likely to find most of the non-human starring cast. (A park). – 9-11pm -Free

Art Salad: Opening Reception – Artist from Toronto and Ottawa converge to mix their talent and some drinks @ Norman Felix Art Gallery – 7-11pm – $2

Laugh Sabbath To The Max! – Hosted by the ever-so charming Sara Hennessey. Featuring the hilarity of locals like Adam Christie and Kathleen Phillips. Act now and be the second confirmed guest who’s not on the bill! – Comedy Bar – 9:25pm – Free?

Paint Lounge Toronto Launch Party –  Come together and make a big painting. Perhaps even learn something. – 784 College St – $10/$15 – Must RSVP (apparently)

Friday

AB14.108

(Photo credit: Noah Gano and Art Battle)

Art Battle National Championships – Whoa boy, is this one a doozy! Art Battle has expanded immensely over the past 2 years, now hosting events in Halifax, Montreal, Vancouver as well as in this great city. Featuring the best of the best of the best from across the country and happening at our city’s biggest gallery, this is certainly the place to be Friday night and is surely worth the cost of admission. – Art Gallery of Ontario – 7pm – $30 / $25 for AGO members

[Check out our past AB coverage here]

Wavelengths Regent Park Courtyard Session – Featuring Weaves, Bizzarh, Pursuit Grooves, Bad Passion –  All ages – Outdoor – Free

Serb Superb @ Rivoli –  Watch Branko (aka Serb Superb) get creative with freestyling a compilation of audience suggestions into loopy, individual tracks. Featuring a full band! The weather calls for Serb to be sporting nothing but colourful underwear and a sailor hat – 9pm – Rivoli – $5

Shaved Quattttro – Bizarre shorts film. I can’t really decipher it but maybe you can based on the YouTube video below… Good luck! – Independent Shorts Cinema (Metro Theatre at Manning & Bloor) – 8pm – $10

Bieber Banner – A banner made of humans… spelling out “Bieber” for charity – Trinity Bellwoods Park – Time: Unknown

Saturday

Sheila Heti: Use Your Words – The third Use Your Words workshop for young writers is directed by Toronto novelist Sheila Heti. Heti is the author of five books, including the Women’s Prize for Fiction nominee How Should a Person Be? – 2-4:30PM – Toronto Reference Library – Free.

Drunken Latte Art Smackdown – The inaugural Drunken Latte Art Smackdown is a contest that awards the best pattern poured into a foamy cup of coffee. Before each match, competitors are required to drink a shot of whiskey. Partial proceeds benefit Coffee Kids, a charity that improves the living conditions of coffee growers. – 8PM – Lit Espresso Bar on College – $5 to participate / Free to watch.

wēt drēæmż – 6 bands, 2 floors, cheap drnks. ($3 pbr before 10pm) – Red Cherry (Dovercourt & Dundas) – $5 before 11/$8 after

ZACHT AUTOMAAT* / FLESHTONE AURA / SACRED LAMP – I love lamp. – Double Double Land (209 Augusta, down the alley) – 9pm – $5

Sunday

Kensington Market Pedestrian Sunday – Take to the streets… and shop! – All Day – Free unless you buy stuff

Toronto Maple Leafs Baseball Club vs. Barrie Baycats – Better than the Jays – 2pm – Free

Public Viewing – Chinatown Community Think Tank – 9pm – Whippersnapper Gallery – Free

“Chinatown Community Think Tank (CCTT) attempts to break through language barrier and art elitism, taking direct actions to engage the Chinese-speaking community in conversations, collectively envisioning the role of art in the neighborhood and among this community.”

Christie Pits Film Festival : The Last Waltz – 1978 Scorsese biopic about the band The Band. – 9pm – Free

About Seamus Gearin

Séamus once found a $100 bill and gave it to the first person who passed by. He's regretted it ever since.