No Good Bands – G’n’F’n’R Supplemental

When we were talking about G’n’F’n’R before, I told you that the video for Don’t Cry was insane. I meant it. It’s Book of Revelation insane. Here, take a look:

Right? Why is he a pirate in the North Pole? Is that Narnia? Why is he struggling for a gun with Stephanie Seymour, is that how she died in the November Rain video? Why is he drowning? They know that a metaphor can’t just stand alone, it has to describe a subject, right? And once again, Slash and Duff are a lovable slapstick duo

: Stephanie Seymour fights Axl’s mistress and Slash just covers his girlfriend’s eyes, while Duff takes a puff of his cigarette and makes this “Well, all right” face.

Also, I’m not sure what Steph’s performance is here, but it’s not acting. Then Slash Thelma and Louises his girlfriend and his car off a cliff to… play a guitar solo that we don’t get to hear? Later Axl has a meeting with himself and himself in a mirrored hospital room and walks into the mirror. Guy is all business. And of course this makes sense, because then he visits his own grave, and we see a shaky Axl ghost. That  accounts for two of the three Axls we saw in the mirrored hospital room. And if you thought he held the “ine” in “mine” for a long time, wait until you hear the “eyye-ee-eyye” that he closes “tonight” with while his shaky ghost shakes and a baby with evil eyes is born. THE END.

baby

Before you drive yourself nuts trying to figure out what it means: it doesn’t. If cocaine psychosis had a TV show, this would be it. Just over and over again, with an occasional break where they played Pride (In The Name Of Love) by U2 while you stared at a burning fireplace. Look, you’re going to be face down on a mirrored coffee table for most of it, so the repetition won’t matter: ride that wave! It’s sort of amazing that Los Angeles continued to exist after 1992.

About Matt Collins

Matt Collins is a musician (Ninja High School), cartoonist (Sexy), jock (Manhunt), and comedian (Matt Collins) in Toronto, Ontario. Please buy more Matt Collins. [Other Posts By Matt]