No Good News – Easter

There truly is a God, a majority of Post readers declare.  Does Conrad Black know? If there’s one thing worse than speculative prattle from the paid staff of a newspaper, it’s speculative prattle that the readers of said newspaper concocted themselves that a member of the staff of the newspaper is then paid to assemble and speculate on. And what better holiday in the Christian calendar than the holiest of holidays, Easter? The day Jesus Christ rose from the dead. This has been the hardest holiday to secularize – Bunnies? Eggs? Faberge eggs? What is a non-Christian to do if passover falls on a different long weekend? Can it do that? How do we not talk about expensive fighter jets that only Peter Mackay wants?

Well, leave it to The Post’s Paul Russell. Bear in mind: people were paid to make this article happen. And then people who paid for a copy of the Post read it. ING Direct even paid to run an ad next to it. That takes balls of bronze, doesn’t it? This truly is the bronze age of information.

With Easter, Passover and Visakhi (the Sikh new year) upon us, the Letters page this week asked readers, “Do you believe in God?”

What did they say? TELL ME!

We carried that question in only two editions this week, but that slim exposure brought in almost 100 responses in the last three days.

As of Thursday afternoon, 68 respondents told us they believe in a god, another 32 assured us they don’t, with a handful of other replies that didn’t clearly answer the question.

Slow your roll. That’s all it takes? 100 readers to answer a question and then The Post can say “a majority of Post readers agree”? Is their readership that low? Which editions did they run it in? The Calgary 2 AM at Walmart edition and the Halifax Nobody Reads The Post In Halifax edition? Those exist, otherwise we wouldn’t be able to marvel at the slippery math of 68 + 32 + “a handful” = 100. What does “didn’t clearly answer the question” mean, exactly? Why does it bear mentioning? Is the Post paying by the word? Or is the Post paying by The Word, if you know what I mean? I hyperlinked in case you don’t. Perhaps your atheism was inspired by Richard Gervais.

 

“There’s actually a renaissance in Christian philosophy that has taken place over the last 20-30 years that is showing that not only is belief in God rational, but the weight of evidence is in favour of it as compared to atheism,” wrote Byron Perry. “Unfortunately most of the media, for biased reasons, are missing it … I thank the National Post for asking a question that other media outlets are too afraid or dismissive to ask. Unfortunately for them, they’re missing the biggest story of this century.”

1. The media is biased against god, or evidence-based rational arguments? I agree that there is an abundance of support for the argument that the media is biased against evidence-based rational arguments.

2. The biggest story this century is that there’s proof of God? How about Obama’s birth certificate? Can we get Don Trump on this proof of God thing? He gets results. Him and Busey. They get results.

 

 

Byron Perry. National Post, I do not believe a man with that name exists. And I bet they could find that a majority of Post readers agree with me if they ask 17 people. Unless 34 people say he does exist. But let’s hear from one of the 32 atheists that read the Post.

“Why do we put faith in an extraterrestrial power?” asked Peter Luskin. “All religions are anchored in tradition, are instrumental in causing world conflicts and stifle free thought. I will never surrender reason and critical enquiry to absolute mysticism and the mindless adulation of a ‘god’ delusion. What I find most unsettling is the vast majority of intellectuals who believe this artificial nonsense. All theocrats are my enemy.”

Sounds like Dawkins to me! I’m waiting for his new book of movie reviews, Thor Is Not Great. I may be mixing my atheists. Pass me Leonard Maltin’s Movie Guide. I’ve got plenty of reading to do. In the meantime, here’s a photo of my bunnies, Dawkins and Hitchens:

“Asking for my reasoning on my disbelief in god in 75 words or less is similar to asking Leonardo da Vinci to paint the Mona Lisa on a Post-it note,” wrote David Kostashuk. “Not that my explanation would be nearly as beautiful or famous.”

Man, Mona Lisa on a post-it note would have saved me the time and effort of my undergrad. Where were you when I needed ideas, Kostashuk. Another clearly fake name. What is this? Kerouac? How terrible does my 17 year-old Kerouac phase think that the On The Road movie is going to be, anyway? Worse than that weird antisemitic CGI joke James Franco was in, that’s for sure.

 

Who am I kidding? I was raised in the United Church and I own a copy of Pomes All Sizes. For our SINS, motherfuckers!

About Matt Collins

Matt Collins is a musician (Ninja High School), cartoonist (Sexy), jock (Manhunt), and comedian (Matt Collins) in Toronto, Ontario. Please buy more Matt Collins. [Other Posts By Matt]